Hide and Seek

Hello friends.  It has been a minute since I last posted.  Yes, I have been hiding...I "fell" off the dieting wagon...not really, I jumped off with both feet!!!  I have been avoiding my blog and my responsibility to myself as well as to my readers.  I am very sorry for that.  I have no excuses, but I do offer you an explanation.  For those of you who have never had to diet you may not understand.  When a person has made something such as this so public, for everyone to look at, scrutinize, criticize and sometimes support, it is easy to want to hide from that.  When I chose to take time off from my diet, I did not report it here because I view it as a failure.  Failure has always been my greatest fear and stumblingblock!  It is the reason I often choose not to try.  But today, I have decided to face my failure.  I am going to man up!!!  I failed.  Wow!  That was easier than I thought, I didn't die, I'm not depressed, I can go on....maybe failure is not as bad as we think!  What have I learned during my time of rebellion?  I don't like feeling over full, I don't like feeling guilty about eating, I don't like the scale mocking me, I don't like being held accountable, and above all...I AM HUMAN!  So, where do I go from here?  I have decided to try again.  Failure didn't kill me but the weight will!  I have to start over.  I need your support!  I would LOVE to lose about 50 more lbs by the end of the year, but I am willing to set a more realistic goal of 35-40.  I have not gotten on the scale yet, but that is my next step.  I know I may have gained a few lbs back, but not much.  So, tomorrow I will get on the scale and then I will post it here.  I think I have finally fixed the comment section so please comment.  Feel free to leave positive or negative, whatever you want, this is a safe place for everyone to be honest!!!  Until tomorrow, weight on me!!