DAY 10 (LOL)

Apparently, I am experiencing a groundhog day with my blog, it's been day 10 for 4 days now!  Strange!  So I guess, it is really Day 13.  Maybe I can find the way out of this round a bout tomorrow and actually post the correct day!  Speaking of round a bouts, that is what a person feels like when they are overeating.  They can see the exit, know where it is and how to get to it, but just can't get out.  Sometimes, you get in the correct lane but by the time you reach the turn off you've convinced yourself that getting out of the round a bout would be too scary or too difficult, maybe you're going to fast...Let me encourage you GET OUT OF THE ROUND A BOUT!!  YOUR LIFE IS WAITING ON YOU!  I spent so many years going in that stupid circle, eating until I felt like I would die I was so stuffed, only to eat again in a couple of hours.  Always going on some crazy diet (moving into the correct lane) only to fail miserably and gain all the weight plus a good 10-15 lbs extra back.  I was so convinced that I could never change my eating habits that it just felt safer to stay in the round a bout than ever try to get out.  Well, I have finally made it out of the round a bout and guess what, it wasn't so hard, it's not scary at all and I feel wonderful!  I have more energy, I am able to do more things now that I used to and my self esteem is through the roof!  I am ready to stop weighting on life and living it instead!  If you are a follower of this blog that means you need to follow my lead and do something different!  It's not always about losing weight, it could be some other thing you struggle with in your life.  Remember once today is over you can never get it back, so don't wait!  Look in the mirror, appreciate yourself and work towards excellence!

Day 10

So another full day.  Traveled to Nashville, was in meetings all day.  I ate well today and feel good about it.  I am really tired and funny is not on my radar today.  Maybe I will send laughs tomorrow. 

Day 10

Okay, undeniably one of the worst days ever!!!  Today was so stressful and I got so little accomplished it is a wonder I haven't totally pigged out and gained all 29 lbs back instantly!  Maybe I haven't because I haven't had time!!!  Anyway, I haven't and I am not going to start now!  Still have about 4 1/2 hours of work to go before I can lay my head down on my pillow.  I wonder why my body thought today would be a good day to start at 5 am? 
Remember I told you I made my office a "safe zone"?  Well since then I have been planning an Easter Egg Hunt for the foster children I work with, guess what that means?  Tons of candy on my desk and now I am staring at 120 little iced cookies!  Not to mention when I opened one of my desk drawers today I found a bag of gummy lifesavers, my favorite!  None of my co-workers would admit to putting them there, I guess they expect me to believe the tooth fairy brought them.  Saboteurs!!  They are literally ALL around me!  There should be some type of warning sign so you can easily identify them from a distance, maybe they should all be forced to wear bright yellow or carry a sign that says, "one bite won't hurt you".  My husband used to be the worst one, always offering me food, sometimes even insisting.  He is doing much better this time and has even refused to give me things.  My mother is the worst!!  Of course I am sure being overweight started with her anyway since she was a tried and true member of the "clean your plate" club.  Since I have changed my eating habits she has continuously poked and prodded to get me to eat what she thinks is the appropriate amount of food and when I don't she sighs deeply and says, "I just want to make sure you're getting enough to eat"  or the famous "I love you too much to see you starve".  Oh, the love of a mother, so deep, never ending and completely guilt ridden! 
Side note, last night I caught myself saying, "wait on me" to my husband and youngest son.  I litterally laughed out loud!  Until next time. 

Day Nine (oops missed Day 8!)

Good morning all!  I am sooooo sore!!  My weekend workout... Saturday, first laundry, then a trip to Dayton and back, I helped my husband move cabinets, Saturday night I went dancing with some friends (not something my body is used to at all), Sunday worked on the house ALL day from 10 am until 9 pm (of course with a lunch break stuck in there).  Working on the house included setting the cabinets, cleaning the cabinets, removing the hardware from the cabinets, moving other furniture, washing the walls, picking up the yard and helping to install a door (which looks beautiful)!   All I can say at this point is OWWWWWW!!!!  My body hurts!!  Places I never knew existed are crying out in pain!  But I must say, it is a good pain! 
Monday is the decided weigh in day, so today's total is.... split, with clothing it is 261 lbs, without it is 257 lbs.  Hmmm, which will I believe...I guess I will choose to believe I have now lost a total of 29 lbs!!!  One more and I will hit 30!!  Can't wait!  Or is it...can't weight!!!  See ya next time and thanks for reading!

Day Seven

I am officially back on track!  I stayed completely within my calorie count for the last three days.  I find it quite amazing the things I can eat as long as I don't overdo it.  Funny thing though, I don't want to eat those things like I used to.  They are just not as appealing as they once seemed, otherwise I would have definnitely caved yesterday durning the great donut temptation!!  I began thinking about why a person gains weight and decided there is no one answer.  Each person gains for different reasons.  My biggest reason, is stress!!!   When I feel stressed or have anxiety, I eat, of course I couldn't be one of those girls that intentionally induce vomitting instead (just kidding).  So, to keep from over eating or emotional eating I have to determine what makes me stressed in order to avoid those things.  Things that make me stressed...hmmm...well, one thing that makes me stressed is weighing daily.  I decided that stepping on the scale daily is just too stressful so I am only going to be weighing weekly now.  I think I get another gray hair each time I think about getting on that thing!!  Work is another stressful thing high on my list, however, I cannot avoid it so I must learn new methods of coping that do not involve food, or could it involve food?   I could throw food at people who stress me out, I could stomp food when I am upset or cut it up or put it in the shredder, hmmm, I should explore this idea further.  Anyway, I am sure there are many other things that stress me out but I am really just to stressed to think about it today (LOL).  So weight on me until next time when I can reveal other stressful things to avoid!!

Day 6

Well, I didn't write yesterday because we had a crisis at work and I was dealing with that.  Today I got up, got ready, and put on my shoes.  Surprise!  They are too big now!  Tell me ladies, why do women lose weight in places they don't necessarily want to first?  I mean, I can barely keep my wedding ring on my finger, I had to buy a smaller size bra (both cup and size), and now my shoes are sliding off when I walk!  Come on now, I have plenty to get rid of in my hips, thighs, belly and butt, BODY!  TAKE THAT FIRST!!!  Too bad we can't designate areas that need to go, "brain, today I want you to take fat from my butt, leave my hands alone!"  Unfortunately it doesn't work that way and now I have these nice slim hands, feet and smaller boobs and a GREAT BIG BUTT!!!  The unfairness of this situation has not escaped me.  Makes me want to throw myself in the floor, kick, scream and bang my head like I did when I was little.  I don't think my boss would understand if she walked in on that! 
I weighed today at 263 lbs.  A major milestone, 25 lbs gone!!!  I am very excited ( as my shoe slides off and trips me!).  I have been disappointed about the speed of weight lose over the last month, but since I have reached this milestone today I felt better.  I came to work and decided to make my office a "safe zone".  I got all of my stash (candy) and gave it to my co-workers.  The only food left in my desk are 100 calorie packs!  Great strides!!!  Then the only foster child on my caseload came in...selling donuts!  Krispy Kreme does not play fair!!!  I bought two boxes but refused to take them, yeah for me I am a good girl!  Then my co-workers came in my office and tried to "share" the donuts they had purchased.  Everywhere I turn there are saboteurs!!!  And believe me I am not strong enough to resist them all.  However, I employed my "will power" which is a real joke.  I don't need will power, will is not the problem.  I need won't power!!  I did not take a donut and I feel great about it!!!  So today, as I leave the office to go to the juvenile court for a very important event, I will be saying to my co-workers, "weight on me", not just because I am slow, but because weight is coming off and so are my shoes!!!!  Have a great day!

Day Four

Good morning my friends.  As I was getting ready for work at 6 am this morning all I could think about was, "when will I have time to blog today, I have a crazy day ahead!".  And it's true, I am currently running late for an appointment, makes me wonder, "am I trading one addiction (eating) for another?"  Oh, well that thought is to be explored when I have more time.  So today I want to briefly discuss what happened on that television reality show where people sing, you know the initials are AI.  Anyway, apparently two young women had front row seats and one of them was 5'3" and 150lbs.  The ushers (at least they are the ones getting the blame) moved the girls to the back of the house because they did not want them in the camera shots.  Shameful!  That is a perfect example of what is wrong with our society.  Somebody, somewhere, thinks they have the right and authority to make the rules about how people should look and if you don't fit their mold, then you get hidden in the back.  Funny thing is in our society (America) statistics show that 74.1% of the population are obese or overweight.  Now that is a very high number, it seems to me that if we are the majority, then we should be the ones defining what is okay and what is not.  I know if I were in control, those young ladies would not only have sat on the front row but they would have gotten a lot of close ups!  Shame on AI and shame on us for not standing up and voicing our opinions.  Fat people could rule the world, if only we didn't allow the skinny people to bully us!?  Power to the pudgy!!!  Until later, keep weighting on me.  (no weigh in today, no time)!!!

Day Three

Losing weight can be so discouraging at times, like when you know you are losing because your clothes don't fit right anymore, but the scale refuses to confirm it!  Still at 264, I knew not to trust that other scale!!!  Hopes now plummeting to the ground :( maybe it will be better later this week.  Or not...
I just ate and it was more than I should have.  I am now miserable, for the first time in two  months, I have eaten too much!!!  Do I feel ashamed?  No, I made the choice to do it and now I am making the choice to get passed it and start over.  I have realized that I cannot dwell on my failures.  I have spent too much time in my life letting past failures and potential future failures hold me back.  So, I goofed!  And it was on purpose!  That doesn't mean I quit.  No, it just means I am human and I still have emotional work to do.  That is always the real "heavy" work.  So, I am getting back on that proverbial "horse" and charging forward, or is it crawling forward?  Whatever, I AM GOING FORWARD and that's all that really counts.  Until next time, Thanks for weighting on me!

Day Two

Good morning friends!  I thought about writing all day yesterday.  I love to write and couldn't wait to get back and do so again today.  I appreciate all the views and the comments.  Thanks Delilah and Angie for your encouragement, I need it!  Also to the others who commented on Facebook, I thank you. 
I want to start today by saying that I do not want to offend anyone, so please read my blog with tongue in cheek.  Being overweight for so many years, I understand the thoughts that a heavy person has and I intend to share them, good, bad and ugly!  With that said, today I thought I would talk about what I am doing to lose weight...STARVING!!!  Only joking I tried that in the past and boy did it ever backfire!  I am just being practical about eating.  I eat 1200-1500 calories a day (usually around 1200), take the stairs instead of the elevator at work (and we have 20 steps, straight up!), spend less time on the computer (ummm, really!), and I do not spend 10 minutes circling Wal Mart looking for the closest parking spot, now I just park and walk.  I go outside more and have started an exercise program with some friends from work.  Well, to be completely honest, we have only done the program that starts with a Z once, so I guess we have started it, we just haven't continued it.  LOL. Well, that is what I am doing and I have to tell you that so far it has not been that hard.  Most of you know I just got back from a cruise and believe it or not I lost two pounds ON VACATION!!!!  Even with my biggest staboteurs with me!!!  (you know who you are).  But that's another post all together, maybe tomorrow I will talk about them or my "great" will power.  Anyway, I weighed this morning at 260 but I do not trust that scale!  I will swing by the doctor and weigh again and let everyone know the real truth!  Until then, weight on me!

Day One (sort of)

Hello friends.  I have been inspired by a new friend to begin writing a blog.  Today is the first day of the rest of my blog!  LOL  I have chosen to write about a topic that is very familiar to me and probably to most who will stop and read here.  Weight.  You notice my blog title is "Weight On Me".  Yes that is a pun.  Weight on me is the problem and because I am overweight and short, I say, "wait on me" all the time.  Clever, huh?  Anyway, almost two months ago I began (yet another) weight loss plan.  Over the past 20 years I have tried to lose weight only to gain it and more back (anybody out there know what I'm talking about?).  I have learned not to tell people that you are dieting because when you start to talk about it people get expectations and then if you fail eveyone knows.  That is very hard on the old ego!  After the last failure, I made up my mind that I was not going to try to lose weight again.  I convinced myself that I am happy in my body no matter what it looks like.  Well, in February I went to my doctor and had a wake up call!  I may not really care what I look like, but I do care if my body works and it is beginning to not.   So, I swallowed my pride, put my ego in check and decided that I need to try again.  I have only told a very select few that I am dieting, until today...Now everyone knows!  I am doing this because I guess I need accountability and encouragement.  That's where you come in.  So, even though this is the most embarrassing thing I have EVER done I will daily post my weight, gain or loss, grin and grit my teeth!  My beginning weight in February was 288 lbs.  Today I weigh in at 264 lbs.  Please I would love your feedback and your company on this journey.